Since I've missed 35 consecutive days of blogging on this blog, I decided to make up for it by giving you one thing per day for the past 35.
Let's goooooooo!
1. A Joke.
Q: What did Elvis say after singing Jailhouse Rock?
A: Shank you, shank you very much.
2. New Slang.
R.A.M.B.O.
An area in downtown Brooklyn, N.Y. near Vinegar Hill. It is an acronym for "Right After the Manhattan Bridge Overpass". The name is an offshoot of the more popular term D.U.M.B.O., an acronym for "Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass".
"Unable to find an affordable apartment in D.U.M.B.O., Richard was forced to look several blocks east in R.A.M.B.O."
3. A Curfew.
Ten o'clock.
Sharp, mister!
4. A Haiku.
Take your time in life.
Smell all the pretty flowers.
Stick them in your butt.
5. Three Varieties of Apple.
1. Granny Smith.
2. Mackintosh.
3. Fiona.
6. One Problem With Dogs.
Smelly.
7. My Middle Name.
Randolph.
8. 700 Hobo Names
9. Number of Days Older Than Me That Leo Is.
1,400.
10. Year the Golf Ball was Invented.
1400.
11. Think about it.
12. Number 4 in Binary.
01010100 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100110 01100101 00101110 00001101 00001010 01010011 01101101 01100101 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110000 01110010 01100101 01110100 01110100 01111001 00100000 01100110 01101100 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 01110011 00101110 00001101 00001010 01010011 01110100 01101001 01100011 01101011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01101101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110100 01110100 00101110
13. A Quote From Charles Barkley.
"The only thing Christian Laettner has in common with Larry Bird is they both pee standing up."
14. My Old Shampoo.
15. My Current Shampoo.
16. My Future Shampoo.
17. Sham Poo.
18. Two Words That Rhyme, But That Are Spelled Very Differently.
1. Etiquette
2. Tourniquet
19. A Practise oft Overlooked by Junkies.
Tourniquet etiquette.
20. Flavour Of A Donut.
Plain.
21. Tom Cruise's Real Name.
Thomas Cruise Mapother IV.
22. Dikembe Mutombo's Real Name.
Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean Jacque Wamutombo Mapother III.
23. What Tom Cruise Calls Dikembe Mutombo.
"Mama".
24. Acronym For 'Scuba'.
S.
25. Anagram For 'Scuba'.
A Scub.
26. An Extremely Suggestive Family Circus Cartoon.
27. Post I Started Writing Before Scrapping it to Write This One.
'Raffi The Prop-Rant Comedian'.
28. Half of a Joke.
Q: What do you call a dinosaur with genital herpes?
29. Characters on the Simpsons.
1. Marge.
2. Lisa.
3. Jerrrrreyyyyyyyyy.
30. A Funny Caption To a Photo I'm Not Going to Show You.
"Are you gonna eat that?"
31. How NOT to Spend Your August Long Weekend.
Shoplifting.
32. A Sequence of Words I Enjoy but Know Nobody Else Will.
I crunch my smunchy lunchy.
33. A Good Time to Charge Up Your Cell Phone.
At night, when you're sleeping.
34. One of The Most Aggravating Guys Possible.
35. The Rest of The Joke in #28.
A: Morris Peterson.
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Happy Hump Day!
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