Bauer to the People

I finished season one of Twenty-Four on Saturday afternoon (while nursing the throat parasite that seems to have overtaken my CNS - that's doc talk, I learned it on ER) and have come to three conclusions:

1. Jack Bauer is the coolest human-being/Dad ever born onto the planet earth. No not cooler than Leo, Leo's not a Dad. Apples and Oranges people.
2. Anyone not watching this show is doing the entertainment equivalent of giving themself a wedgie.
3. If they re-made Speed and put Jack Bauer in the place of Jack Traven (Keanu) it would be far and away the best movie ever made. It would be a lot like On the Waterfront , only better.

In light of these revelations I decided to pitch my own show. It is not totally fleshed out yet, but I am thinking along the lines of a fast-paced, edge of your seat thrill-ride kind of thing. Or maybe more of a white-knuckle nail-biter guaranteed to keep you crawling back for more. In any event, I call it:


The pink symbolizes danger, of course.

I don't mean to be a braggadocio or anything, but Joel Siegel may or may not have called it "The greatest man-made action-drama since The John Larroquette Show".

A few highlights from Season One:

7:15 - Bed

Marty slams the Snooze button. Crime can wait, but for how long?

10:55 - The Couch

Almost time to watch The View. But who is the guest today? The tension is palpable.

3:18 - The big house.

"You bet your ass it was you cute little dude! And don't talk back to me, criminal!"

5:48 - Shoppers Drug Mart

Marty just isn't sold on the merits of 2 in 1 Shampoo and Conditioner.

10:34 - Kitchen

Enjoying some soup. Can't busts crooks on an empty stomach.

12:53 - Dreamland

Marty dreams that it is morning and then wakes up and thinks it is time to fight more crime. Then he looks at the clock: 12:53. What a relief!



I am still working on the theme song. The last version I tried turned out sounding just like the intro to Soap. What can you do, hey Leo?

LEO: Hey.