WHahOO!

man this bloggo has been a boring wasteland of late hey? as charlie sheen said in Navy S.E.A.L.S "whaaaat a shithole!" I should rename it "The Lame Lab", or maybe "House of Crap". Either way, Im back now, deep breaths everybody. The reason for the hold up is that I have joined the ranks of the gainfully employed. I just finished my first week on the job at the CEC network, lika thees. It has been pretty excellent so far, im recruiting teachers to teach english in oman, UAE, colombia, argentina, china and south korea. So im on the phone alot of the day and going through resumes and emailing people. its pretty cool i must say. so thats the job, now onto the good stuff...

As Reported by THE LONDON TELEGRAPH:
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Man Sticks His Balls Together
In a bizarre incident this week in Hull, a man accidentally stuck two pool balls together demonstrating a type of molecular fusion previously unseen. While shooting snooker at the local pub Terry Graves took a good hard shot at the pink and watched mystified as the two balls quite literally fused together, with one third of his cue buried. The scene caused quite a stir, that was eventually broken up by pub manager Tom Fitzsimmons coming over and removing the balls from the table. In an even stranger twist, The University of Manchester has made a 40 thousand pound bid for the balls, while Fitzsimmons is holding out, saying: "my balls are worth a lot more than 40 large, even if they are stuck together". A Manchester University spokesman has said they believe the incident proves a highly theoretical type of fusion known as "molecular blending" whereby two solid objects - being comprised of more empty space than particles - quite literally just slide together. "The odds of such an occurrence are ten trillion to one," said the spokesman, "Mr. Fitzsimmons would be doing science a great favor by giving up his balls." At press time, Fitzsimmons wouldn't budge.
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What???? .. british people are fucked up...anyway, i gotsta take a shower, wash the stench of success off my velvet skin.. have a great weekend everybawdy...

Happy Weekend Everybody!

So it's saturday! the day we have all been waiting for.. man do i love saturdays! it's right up there, one of the best days of the week really.. in fact i would say on a scale of one to absolute irremediable shit, saturday is not doing all that bad.. like a 4 maybe, and when it is raining that drops to a 2.5, that's pretty good there saturday.
I quite enjoy this rain we are having, kind of peaceful in a way.. though it does mean mark can't go garage sailing, sorry about that buddy.. oh and good work on your homework.. a word to the rest of you, you will not get dessert until all your homework has been finished, so get cracking! i guess the rain works for nicky as he will be inside cleaning his place up for the big tonight, and i am not sure if it is raining in montreal, where julie is.. i hope it's not, i hope she is basking in the warmth of the sun as she gears up for her final finals ever!!!! and that just about covers my readership.. hmmm... if i have left you off my list if you could please identify yourself in the shout-outs and tell me, a) whether or not it is raining where you are, b) whether or not you like the rain, and c) why you didn't finish all your homework, and how disappointed in yourself you are.

so on to tonight.. saturday night, THE BIG ONE!!! should be pretty shit hot if i do say so... i have been (mickey) desparately trying to figure out a costume to wear to the ball, but nothing has worked out, so it looks like ill be referring to my old stand-by. everyone loves a vijay!

and i am getting closer and closer on the job front.. i got a message yesterday from the place that might be hiring me, asking me to call back.. which i couldnt because it was 10:45 at night.. but i think they are going to scoop me up on monday, man i hope so.. would be a hot gig..

so i will see most of you this evening, hope all is well, and have yourselves a smashing saturday!

I hereby declare thursdays: "education is the poop day"... here's my homework for school, can yoooouuuuu figure it out?
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fact-checking problem: what color is your airplane?

a fact checker was assigned the check a story on a canadian airline to appear in the business section of macleans. a passage that caused trouble is in bold; the entire lead paragraph is provided for context.

"this week more than a thousand cp air employees will gather in a massive hangar at vancouver international airport. there, they will watch the unveiling of the first dc-10 painted in the company's new colors. the bold orange and red scheme conceived in the 1960s is giving way to a more sober pattern of red white and blue."

the following exchange took place while the fact checker was going over the story with the airline's public relations person:
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fact checker: "and the new color scheme on your planes in red, white and blue."

pr guy: "no, no, no. Everybody says that."

fc: "it's not red, white and blue?"

pr guy: "no."

fc: "then what color is it?"

pr: "sky blue and cloud white. those are the official colors."

fc: "the planes are blue and white?"

pr: "no. the colors are sky blue and cloud white."

fc: "and there's no red anywhere on the plane?"

pr: "well, there's a thin red stripe separating the blue half from the white half, running the length of the plane."

fc: "so the planes are red, white and blue."

pr: "you're not listening."
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what change, if any, should the fact checker make to the sentence in question?

Where to begin...

The depressing realization in this age of dumbing down is that the questions have moved from "Was Nietzsche right about God?" to "How big was his dick?"

-David Bowie