A Very Simpson Christmas

Season's Greetings!

Hope everybody has finished their Christmas shopping and is ready to kick back and enjoy the festive season, eggnog in hand, crackling fire, the jolly sound of old St. Nick stomping around the snowy rooftops! What a time of year! But you know what happens if you don't finish your Christmas shopping? Yes, that's right! Santa eats your heart! Bummer!

Moving on, I was shopping for some CD's today, and I picked up the new Ashlee Simpson record. It is burning up the charts and I just had to see what all the fuss was about. Well my goodness was I in for a shock! This Ashlee is not the sweet little sister of the moralistic starlet I like to call "Jesse Essy". I guess I was a little naive, thinking the old addage "sex sells" could be put on hold, at least through the holidays. Apparently not. I have transcribed some of her lyrics below so you can see for yourself, prepare to be mortified:

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"Pieces Of Me"

On a Monday, I am horny
Tuesday, I am horny
And by Wednesday, I can't sleep
Then the phone rings, I hear you
And the darkness makes me horny
Cause you've come to rescue me

Fall... With you, I fall so fast
I can hardly catch my breath, I hope it lasts

[Chorus:]
Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you know me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, poosay, pieces of me
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

When I'm angry, you listen
Make me happy it's your mission
And you won't stop til I'm there

Fall... Sometimes I fall so fast
When you hit that bottom
Crash! you're all I have

[Chorus:]
Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way ass feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you known me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

On a Monday, I am horny
And by Tuesday, I am fading into your ass...
So I can dream

[Chorus:]
Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you've know me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
Ohhhhh
I love how you can tell
Ohhhhh
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, poosays, pieces of me
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me...

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Like, I know right! If Britney is a MILF, that would make Ashlee a TILW - Trollop I'd Like to Wallop! She should be ashamed. And at Christmas time to boot! Singin' about getting her ass whacked on Christmas, boo I say, boo to you Ms. Simpson. What do you think Leo?



'nuff said.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS ALL!

Word Fun

So this post isn't going to have anything to do with Leo Dicaprio, sorry to disappoint. Instead I though I would go with this new word game I though of just now. Rules below.

1. I pick a letter and then write a sentence.
2. In the sentence, every word starting with that letter signifies the OPPOSITE of what word should be there.
3. Decode for hours of fun and amusement!

For example: "F"

"free cars are fancy and fun."

which would mean:

"Expensive cars are basic and boring."

Get it? I know it wasn't funny, that's why I burned it in the EXAMPLE section.
Try this hilarity on for size...

"L"

"Little ladies with long legs give shitty, uncomfortable hugs!"

ZAP! FUN-E! How about this...

"C"

"so you say you can't stomach cooked hot-dogs? Try chewing dog-shit!"

Yessssss.....

And finally...

"P and H"

"Pretty pimps make for hard hens and horny housewives."

ZING! That last one got a little raunchy! That is if any of this is actually making any sense to anyone! Holla if you hear me!.... (silence)(sound of crickets)(lone tear down the cheek)

The Golden Boy

Hey Leo Heads!

It has been a busy week folks, what with Leo getting the Golden Globe nod for The Aviator, and his rare appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show! That's a lot of Leo! I almost OD'd!

Now I don't want to jinx anything, but...okay, here goes: "Leo will win the Golden Globe for Best Actor". There I said it. Whew! That wasn't too bad. Alright why not? "Leo is going to win a fricking Oscar!" Whoah man that felt good. Just imagine L.D standing in front of the assembled masses: the live crowd, A-Listers and starlets abound; the betting types, sitting with their Oscar pool money on the table, cursing themselves for picking Paul Giamatti; all unified in their love and appreciation for Leo, the murmers, then the whispers giving way to a low rumble, and if you turn your T.V up and lean in real close you can start to make out the words, sinking together into a slow, loving chant, "we're sorry Leo, we were wrong to doubt you and make fun, we are stupid, stupid people Leo". Perfection.

The one drawback is that a win would launch Leo into the realm of "mainstream-movie-superstardom", and away from the low-key, indie-arthouse type stuff that he has been pursuing for the past few years. What can I say folks, some are meant for greatness!



PS- Due to a late resurgence of the cult idea, I have left the poll so our finalists can scrap it out for first place. Vote now folks, this is Leo's future we are talking about...

SO MUCH FOR ENDURING LOVE

So, our boy Leo is many things, but one thing he seems NOT to be is the "commitment-type". How appropriate is it that Leo is playing the womanizing Howard Hughes in the upcoming bio-pic The Aviator? It is very appropriate. Very appropriate indeed. Yes.

Leo has, in fact, been linked to more than 20 Hollywood starlets, and he just turned thirty! At this rate I estimate by the time he is 40 he will have boned somewhere between 70 and 90 starlets! That's almost a hundred starlets! HOLY! If you want more info on Leo and his ladies you can get all the goods HERE.

The point of this little ramble is this: It is time for Leo to settle down, so I have put together the little poll you see below (bottom of the page). If everyone could please voice their opinions I will gather all of the data, and compile a theory for what would make Leo happiest in his life. Once complete, I will email my theory to Leo, and all kinds of hilarity will (or will not) ensue. Let's give it a shot!


PS - I am having some trouble formatting this puppy. If you could please give me some feedback in the shoutouts on whether or not the site looks right on your comp I would appreciate it. Love is all around us, M.

FUTURE WORLD

Check out my new Leo page! New colors and a site meter and shout outs and everaythang cool that exists under the sun! In the coming days and weeks this site will be a beacon of joy and deliciousness to birghten your glum and un-delicious days (should you have any days that are any less than super-lish). Like watch this: LEO DONALD DICAPRIO! See what i did, I made you think of Leo, which in turn made you happy, which in turn made you love me (and Leo).


RAAAR!

I DID IT! Marvin right, well I just took the beating of a lifetime just to make this site fully functional. But as you well know, I'll do anything for a super fan with Hep C. Fight the good fight! And look for the album with me on the cover ( I do a rap with C-Webb, cool non?! )

I DID IT!

In the tradition of re-branding stale, crappy old products and making them into slick, delicious, marketable masterpieces I give you:




LEONARDO DICAPRIO FANHOME!

Drop in regularly for all your Leo needs. We'll have up to the minute stats ("Leo Dicaprio ate nine things yesterday"); quotes ("I don't see why I can't have friends of both sexes without wild rumors being circulated. It's crazy.") That one's actually real, and tell me about it Leo!; and of course, excerpts from my very own "The Leo Diaries: Melted by a Heart of Gold".

Can you feel the excitement folks! It's more electrifying than that scene where Leo was crying and asking his momma for junk money in The Basketball Diaries! Welcome to a new, glorious, and totally Dicaprio Day!

So The Sneeze is having an essay contest, the winner of which wins a wireless router. The catch is that the essay has to be under 100 words. I don't think i have ever had to write such a short essay, and: it, is, tough. I wrote my piece and it was like 130 words over, wha fa? Anyway, below please find my entry:



Mr. Sneezer,

This letter, hereby, is to introduce myself and apply for the position of “Old-Timey Essay Contest Winner”. Please find my resume attached. It clearly states, in no uncertain terms, that I like this thing. More to the point, it clearly illustrates and illuminates the fact that I want this thing. When I say thing I mean router. On that point I will conclude my speech and example-list, and leave you with my name. My name is Martin Flanagan.

Thank you for your time, and have a day,
Martin Flanagan.





Thoughts? Queries? Fart Jokes?

hey blogfans!

marty here writing you from what i like to call "the bell province" or "land of bells". my rapier wit, as you can see, has not been corroded by the long hours and mucho drink-mouth. jules has joined me for a couple of days, which has been lovely, and, as always, a laugh a minute. for example, just now she said to me: "let's go to cora's for some brekie munchers" and i'm all like: "more like hard-cora's" to which she responded: "hard-cora's begs and achin!" i tell you gang, my BELLY was achin' after that zinger. oh, and so you know, the new "SNAP" is "ZAP". use it early and often, this thing is taking the von-dutch route. must run, looks like i'm back on friday ("frying-pan day"), so i will see you all then.

miss you bunches, marv.

Britney threw down the following poem on her subscription-only website about her honeymoon with Fenderline. I will withhold comment at this time.

A honeymoon at last, to get away from it all
My assistant Fe gave me the call.

I remember it well, as she was smilin'
She said it was called Turtle Island.

I packed my bags light and quick,
Then grabbed my pink dress & favorite lipstick.

We hopped on a plane and took our flight
I slept really well, all through the night.

As we arrive, I turn and look out the door,
People are greeting us right at the shore.

A meal, a shower and some ice cream
Then I threw my man down, you know what I mean!

Magical nights filled with stars
Silence is golden, no running cars.

Private dinners, romantic fires
Little piece of heaven, whatever your heart desires.

Friendly "hellos" and never goodbyes
When you're having fun, oh, how time flies!

As we sit and prepare to make our part
I thank you, Turtle Island, with all my heart!

i smiled at Susan and said:
"buck up Sue, shit,
you look so fucking sad"
but she didn't want to hear it:
"you look so fucking sad". Right.
"i mean, why do you have to take
everything so serious?"
"why can't you even try
to let it go a bit".
"I'll tell you why, fucker,
i'll tell you , i'll tell you,
i'll tell you.."

Here is a poem that I wrote on the subway this morning:


I'm cutting open my stomach
to see what's inside.
Digging out a bowl of sorts,
carving it out like a pumpkin.
Ribs breaking and scratching
as I burrow deeper,
Dry broken skin
raising up in a soft rounded
edge, hugging the bowl.

Come sit with me, by my side
hold my hand as I weather away.
Grab a scoop and dig with me,
shovel out my shit.
Drench your hands in my warm pink juices.

I'm getting carried/carry me away.



2:48- Not bad for a first go, but certainly a little gross. And I didn't title it, oish!

Yeah you'd better watch out
if your going to throw that dogshit in the toilet (pollution man)
yeah you'd better watch out
if you are not re-cy-cle-ing! (pollution man)

cause he's going to kick your ass
if you don't shut the water while you brush your teeth (brush your teeth)
and he'll get real pissed off
if you leave a frickin' light on when you goin' to sleeeeeeep!

Cause he's mean, and green, POLLUTION MAN!
A butt-kicking machine, POLLUTION MAN!
But a machine that runs on fossil fuels and fart gas, fart gas, FART GAS...

POLLUTION MAN!

This week on POLLUTION MAN, a strange force is taking over the city. People everywhere are polluting! Pouring coffee on the ground so they don't spill it while driving. Spitting gum and cigarrette butts on the sidewalk and putting candy wrappers on tree-planters!! What is going on in our fine city? What evil force is causing this pollution? This looks like a job for... POLLUTION MAN!

PD: Yo Pollution Man, we gotta stop all this polluting before the city becomes a wasteland of dirty syringes and coffe cups!
PM: You are damn right Pollution Dude, lets get to work!!


TO THE RESCUE!!!!!

PM: Look, the people are all polluting because they forgot that their environment loves them!!!
PD: What are we going to do Pollution Man?
PM: I GOT IT!!! PEOPLE OF EARTH, CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION. IF YOU COULD ALL LOOK UP AT THE SUN FOR A BRIEF MOMENT, I THINK YOU WILL REMEMBER SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU ARE FORGETTING!!!


"It's Beautiful!"

PEOPLE: We're sorry pollution man, we forgot that the earth loves us!! Thank you for saving us from pollution!
PM: Don't say sorry, just pick the crap off the ground and stop pollutioning!
PEOPLE: YAAAAAAY!!!


POLLUTION MAN!

(Time for a sing along)

Blog, Blog, Blog, it's time to Blog. (sing with me...)
Bloggy Bloggy Fun Time, time to Blog.
Here comes a funny, joke about something,
or a really wacky picture that will make you giggle (tee hee hee hee)

(Change of pace)
Bloggiiiiiiing is my only releassssse!
It makes me feel free, free as a bird,
I spread my wings of words, and take fliiiiiiight!

Phrases and sentences like currents of soft warm air (soft warm air)
feeling the nouns and the verbs rushing through my hair! (through my hair)
Why can't i live so free, so free everyday,
as when I'm writing my Blog, I'm Blogging, I'm Blogging awaaaaaaaaaaaay!

(Hip hop extravaganza)
Yo i'm rappin about bloggin'
look at me rap, about bloggin'
look at a map, when your loggin'
so you don't cut down the wrong maple treee.. SNAP.

For me (spoken word)
blogging is like, life maaan,
you gotta make choices, when you blog,
like life,
do you post a joke? or a funny picture?
you decide your own future,
des-tinny, tin drum beat
rhythmic like a heart beat
like a subtle swallow beats, it's wings,
mild, hot, or suicide?

RIP Rodney Dangerfield

Nov. 22, 1921 - Oct. 05, 2004

John Kerry was a Swift Boat Captain. He is a National Treasure.

Ben is Confused: Bennifer Loparnerflek.

Marty loves the Movies

In honor of the film fest, i decided to do a couple of movie reviews of my own. Hope you like movies, cause I sure like reviews...


I saw the preview for the new Leo/Hughes Biopic "The Aviator". Leo has got to stop messing around with these big budget snoozefests and do something worthwhile before I stop having sex dreams about him. Eccentric Billonaire? I say "Eccentric Who-Gives-A-Shit?"


I saw "Napoleon Dynamite" on Sunday with Jules and Marko. We went to the sushi place next door to Carlton cinema before hand for some grub. They do this move where they load the Spicy Tuna Maki up with wasabi so it has this mean bite to it, and they don't wrap it in seaweed like they do at sushi on Bloor. Nice move sushi place, you've played before...


Ahhh but for the life Aquatic. i don't know if i have been more jazzed to see a new movie in some time. ALTHOUGH, i saw a preview on the internet on Friday and it was nothing AT ALL like i thought it would be. I pictured it being all in the 1700's like Chris Columbus and shit (1600's). So what i have decided to do is not see it, THAT way there is no way i can be disappointed by it and it can live forever in my mind as this perfect sparkling ideal (much like Minnie Driver in the mind of Matt Damon for the first half of "Good Will Hunting"; now that was a good fuckin' movie).



Good Fuckin' Movie!


This is how I rap. When Mark and I drop this new rap song it is going to permanently alter the course of human history, for the worse. It will be like an infectious plague, causing uncontrollabe butt shaking from Toronto to Iraq, and back. Be warned.


So i was trying to find a poster for that new movie "Cellular", and instead i found this sweet honey in a fanny pack. Somehow I think we are all better off for it. Cellular should have come out in like, '97 or something, and even then it wouldn't have been cool.

And finally, the moment you have all been waiting for, the best of 2004 and the winner of the Palm D'Or at the first annual "Marties", the winner is......


"I don't care about your crime... whatever you did, i'm sure you feel bad, so it's cool now, it's over... we're just two cool guys, just hangin' out".

And from the wonderful world of sports:


Shaq Dad: Lyrical Mastermind.

"The Diesel is back in the booth, and the word is out. Miami Heat center Shaquille O'Neal, whose rap albums include "Shaq Diesel" and "Shaq Fu -- Da Return," has collaborated with DJ Vlad on a new rap CD called "Hot In Here Part Five." On the single titled "You Not The Fightin' Type," O'Neal takes a swipe at former Los Angeles Lakers teammate Kobe Bryant. In the song, while calling out DJ Skillz, a Cincinnati-based radio deejay, O'Neal says: "Even with wings you never as fly as me ... you remind me of Kobe Bryant trying to be as high as me ... but you can't ... even if you get me traded ... wherever I'm at, I'm Puffy; you Mase and you're still hated." ESPN.com


Kobe: Just got served.

WHO'S YO DADDY!
What do you call a guy with SHIT in his DNA?
Eugene Poo-Gene!

"Everybody's working for the weekend" - Loverboy.

Dug this baby out of the crates last night:

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MARY POPPINS!
Who takes care of Mr. Medicine when his mom goes to work?
His Auntie Biotic!
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Happy Tuesday.. >M<

Hello Gang!
Happy Friday everyone! What I am here to do is blast you with the funny shit to get your big butts wagging all through this regular-sized weekend. So here goes, please keep hands and toes inside the car at all times, and refrain from vomiting until the vehicle has come to a complete STOP:

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NUMBER ONE!
What do you call a grabby crab?
A selfish shellfish!

WHORE!
What do you call a shrimp with a pimp?
a trampy scampy!

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!
You did, fuckwad!

BENVENITO A PARIS!
How do you tell a Frenchman to fuck off?
Flip him the oiseau!

WHO DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR?
What do you call shit-kicking shit?
Kung-Fu Bum-Poo!

CHARLIE!

What do you call Charlie answering his mom?

Answering Ma-Sheen!

HANG TEN!

What do midgets surf on?
Microwaves!

WATCH YOUR STEP!
How do you know when you've farted?
Your shorts smell like the inside of your ass!

NAP TIME!
We all know what happens when you fall asleep, what happens when sleep falls on you?
You're under a rest!

KISS MY GLASS!
Why did the window washer leave his house?
Because the glass in always cleaner on the other side!

VS!
What do you call Charlie getting in a fight with his mom?
Man Vs. Ma-Sheen!

FUCKING VEGANS!
Where does a vegetarian wear their toe-ring?
On their TOE-FOO!

CHIEF TELLING JOKE!
What do inuits listen to music on?
Native Speakers?

FUCK BRANDY!
How do you diss an aperatif?
You tell a port to teleport!

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That's it, I'm exhausted. I'm sure I have more of those suckas crawling around the dark recesses of my mind, but I'll have to write those ones later. Check this out, i'll write those ones l8r, shit yeah see what i did there? L8R! DOPE! L8R SK8R BOI! I think using the number 8 in the place of "ate" has got to be the single coolest thing ever.... Oh, shit check this out:

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DINNER TIME!
a: Why aren't you hungry?
b: B-cuz I 8 a sk8r l8r than U!

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There it is folks, I have outdone myself! I hang my hat and cry in silence at the breathtaking pinnacle of my joke writing career... ENJOI THE WEEKEND KIDS! M>

Hey gang, long time no blog.. You miss me? Since we last spoke the American men's B-Ball team has been eliminated from the Olympics. Tiger won the Tour Championship, and Ben Wallace had a breast reduction. Aren't sports weird? To celebrate our new union, I thought I would offer you some homemade jokes to get you through this gloomy Tuesday. Enjoy!
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CRIBS!
I'm not a rich man you can see,
but look between my foot and knee.
it's not a shack,
oh no siree.
I've got a MAN-SHIN
all for me!

F IS FOR FUNNY
B: Excuse me...
A: Yes?
B: Well, I don't mean to be rude, but your anus is showing...
A: A is for Anus!

HAIL KOREA
What do you say to a guy who's burning your mandu?
Man Don't!

CONSTIPATION NATION
Why can't snakes take good sized shits?
Because they are shit, and they smell like shit!

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That's it folks, see you in another two months! Try the meatballs, they taste like flesh!

WHahOO!

man this bloggo has been a boring wasteland of late hey? as charlie sheen said in Navy S.E.A.L.S "whaaaat a shithole!" I should rename it "The Lame Lab", or maybe "House of Crap". Either way, Im back now, deep breaths everybody. The reason for the hold up is that I have joined the ranks of the gainfully employed. I just finished my first week on the job at the CEC network, lika thees. It has been pretty excellent so far, im recruiting teachers to teach english in oman, UAE, colombia, argentina, china and south korea. So im on the phone alot of the day and going through resumes and emailing people. its pretty cool i must say. so thats the job, now onto the good stuff...

As Reported by THE LONDON TELEGRAPH:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man Sticks His Balls Together
In a bizarre incident this week in Hull, a man accidentally stuck two pool balls together demonstrating a type of molecular fusion previously unseen. While shooting snooker at the local pub Terry Graves took a good hard shot at the pink and watched mystified as the two balls quite literally fused together, with one third of his cue buried. The scene caused quite a stir, that was eventually broken up by pub manager Tom Fitzsimmons coming over and removing the balls from the table. In an even stranger twist, The University of Manchester has made a 40 thousand pound bid for the balls, while Fitzsimmons is holding out, saying: "my balls are worth a lot more than 40 large, even if they are stuck together". A Manchester University spokesman has said they believe the incident proves a highly theoretical type of fusion known as "molecular blending" whereby two solid objects - being comprised of more empty space than particles - quite literally just slide together. "The odds of such an occurrence are ten trillion to one," said the spokesman, "Mr. Fitzsimmons would be doing science a great favor by giving up his balls." At press time, Fitzsimmons wouldn't budge.
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What???? .. british people are fucked up...anyway, i gotsta take a shower, wash the stench of success off my velvet skin.. have a great weekend everybawdy...

Happy Weekend Everybody!

So it's saturday! the day we have all been waiting for.. man do i love saturdays! it's right up there, one of the best days of the week really.. in fact i would say on a scale of one to absolute irremediable shit, saturday is not doing all that bad.. like a 4 maybe, and when it is raining that drops to a 2.5, that's pretty good there saturday.
I quite enjoy this rain we are having, kind of peaceful in a way.. though it does mean mark can't go garage sailing, sorry about that buddy.. oh and good work on your homework.. a word to the rest of you, you will not get dessert until all your homework has been finished, so get cracking! i guess the rain works for nicky as he will be inside cleaning his place up for the big tonight, and i am not sure if it is raining in montreal, where julie is.. i hope it's not, i hope she is basking in the warmth of the sun as she gears up for her final finals ever!!!! and that just about covers my readership.. hmmm... if i have left you off my list if you could please identify yourself in the shout-outs and tell me, a) whether or not it is raining where you are, b) whether or not you like the rain, and c) why you didn't finish all your homework, and how disappointed in yourself you are.

so on to tonight.. saturday night, THE BIG ONE!!! should be pretty shit hot if i do say so... i have been (mickey) desparately trying to figure out a costume to wear to the ball, but nothing has worked out, so it looks like ill be referring to my old stand-by. everyone loves a vijay!

and i am getting closer and closer on the job front.. i got a message yesterday from the place that might be hiring me, asking me to call back.. which i couldnt because it was 10:45 at night.. but i think they are going to scoop me up on monday, man i hope so.. would be a hot gig..

so i will see most of you this evening, hope all is well, and have yourselves a smashing saturday!

I hereby declare thursdays: "education is the poop day"... here's my homework for school, can yoooouuuuu figure it out?
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fact-checking problem: what color is your airplane?

a fact checker was assigned the check a story on a canadian airline to appear in the business section of macleans. a passage that caused trouble is in bold; the entire lead paragraph is provided for context.

"this week more than a thousand cp air employees will gather in a massive hangar at vancouver international airport. there, they will watch the unveiling of the first dc-10 painted in the company's new colors. the bold orange and red scheme conceived in the 1960s is giving way to a more sober pattern of red white and blue."

the following exchange took place while the fact checker was going over the story with the airline's public relations person:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
fact checker: "and the new color scheme on your planes in red, white and blue."

pr guy: "no, no, no. Everybody says that."

fc: "it's not red, white and blue?"

pr guy: "no."

fc: "then what color is it?"

pr: "sky blue and cloud white. those are the official colors."

fc: "the planes are blue and white?"

pr: "no. the colors are sky blue and cloud white."

fc: "and there's no red anywhere on the plane?"

pr: "well, there's a thin red stripe separating the blue half from the white half, running the length of the plane."

fc: "so the planes are red, white and blue."

pr: "you're not listening."
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what change, if any, should the fact checker make to the sentence in question?

Where to begin...

The depressing realization in this age of dumbing down is that the questions have moved from "Was Nietzsche right about God?" to "How big was his dick?"

-David Bowie

hey now, no need for such mama-drama. wednesdays sure suck but thursdays can be a real shitball too.. check out this chick , she is so bummed out! chill out little lady, it's almost the weekend ...who likes pizza???

that's right folks, I figured out HYPERTEXT!!! (well technically nick told me, but hey...)

They say Wednesday is the toughest day of the week aside from Monday, and Sunday, and Friday if you have a hangover. So I give you the following links to brighten your dull, gray eyes. Get that raincloud out of your head!

Check this guy out: http://www.tylerhayden.com/faces.htm
I used to go to camp with him. Sheesh.

Who's hungry? I'm cookin' tonight! http://www.millionmenu.info/eng/recipes/collection/drecip2970/

This guy is so mad! It must be a Wednesday. Relax guy, it's hump day!http://www.poster.net/diesel-vin/diesel-vin-photo-vin-diesel-6204556.jpg

This guy used to make Wednesdays rock! I miss you buddy.
http://www.helicon7.com/90210/archives/images/ian2.jpg

Remember me?
http://www.asb.nb.ca/images/tylerhayden.jpg

That's all for today, once I figure out how to use hypertext this Wednesday links thing is gonna sizzzle, I solemnly swear.

Anglican Babies

Catatonic delivery entices fantastic gastro-intestinal hemorrhage.
It just killed lucky Mummy,
now our pretentions quiver.
Resurrect sweet Theresa?
Unified victors won't.
X-Ray.
You Zealots!

The Fraser Collective of Natural Sluts was forged last night out of red wine and creative fervor. Mad props to Jules, Mike and Carrie for their inspirational wordplay and awesome work in the percussion jams.

yeah boyyyeeeeeee!
rookie of the year has made it to the belle province. just got back from the salon, wicked faux hawk in effect, ready to get my freak on at the mcgill formal. had a difficult interaction at the thousand islands casino yesterday.. having been rejected at the door for not bearing a valid drivers license or a firearms license, i dispelled my feverish gambling addiction by placing a poorly advised wager with mr mike holmes in the parking lot. through the duration of my cigarette i bet holmes there would be at least one red car pulling into the lot. suffice it to say it didn't. a double or nothing and a green minivan later i was down forty bucks and a quarter pounder meal. fuck. so we hopped back on the highway and washed away the hard feelings with beef jerky and a rousing round of "spot the hooker". good trip all in all.