10 Things I Hate About Russell Crowe

New Joke!
Q: Who hates Russell Crowe?
A: Everyone on the earth even the animals and the plants and the molecules!


Jackass.

How is it that Russell Crowe is even famous? Really, if you took a vote of everyone on earth they would all agree on three things:

1. Russell Crowe should not be famous.
2. It is questionable whether or not Russell Crowe should even be alive.
3. Leo Dicaprio should be dipped in gold and covered in diamonds.

And so, blog-heads, I give you my list of 10 Things I Hate About Russell Crowe:



Number 1. He is Australian...

Like this guy...

...and this guy...

...And this guy.



Number 2.

His band, “30 Odd Foot of Grunts”, originally toured under the name “The Singer’s the Guy who Boffed Meg Ryan”.

Number 3.

Believing himself to be “old-school” (on account of his appearance in Cinderella Man) he drives a car with no headlamps.

Number 4.

When someone coughs he says “Robitussin”, and claims he's being 'subversive'.

Number 5.

After taking violin lessons in preparation for his role in “Master and Commander: Far Side of the World” he went on to write 8 songs for his band featuring violin or cello, one of which was named “The Weeping Strings of Catalonia”.

Number 6.

Refers to his dandruff as “God’s breakfast”.

Number 7.

Claims the idea for Major League Baseball’s divisional realignment and wildcard format was his.

Number 8.

Can’t pronounce “pantyhose”, and yet he wears them to bed.

Number 9.

Changed the name of his street in Australia to “Raw Silk Rowe”.

Number 10.

Still tells the “rubber balls and liquor” joke at cocktail parties.

And just for good measure, we'll make it 11:

A turn of your head says
I've met you before,
You say that's not possible
But I could have sworn,
That I asked you the difference
Between sensuous and sexy,
You said “I know who you are”,
That kind of perplexed me.

- 30 Odd Foot of Grunts
“Inside her Eyes”



Boy, me and Leo suuuure hate Russell Crowe, don't we Leo?

LEO: I love you Marty.
ME: I know Leo, I know.