Portland Rocks!

Q: Why'd the lush move to Portland?
A: Cause he couldn't afford a place in Cognacopolis!

Serious though. I joke because I love.

I PORTLAND!

Portland is located in the proud state of Oregon (not just a delicious spaghetti sauce flavouring anymore folks, oh no! Now it's a full-blown state, and that's one bill away from a being a COUNTRY! Gad-Zooks!) and has a population of 37 million. Oregon is on the south-western tip of the USA, and is the home of such famous people as:


Whammo!


Wazzaaap!

and

Beverly Cleary, beloved children’s novelist and author of the Ramona Quimby books.

Moreover and heretofore, if it wasn't for Portland we wouldn't have such things as the Fosbury Flop, which looks like this:



The Fosbury shattered the record book and all but reinvented the sport of high-jump in 1968.

'And that's it', you say? 'Portland doesn't seem that awesome'...

Well no, I guess it wouldn't, considering you have yet to consider the fact that a little company called NIKE started not too far away in Beaverton, Oregon.

Yeah, that's right. That Nike. With the:



and the:



and the:



Yeah I know, Portland is seeming kind of amazing now isn't it? Thinking you spoke too soon? Portland agrees.

Portland doesn't even want me to tell you about:


The Captain William Clark Monument

Which just so happens to be sculpted by the same artist who created the Martin Luther King Jr. Monument, and depicts a Native American, Clark and his black slave York, who accompanied the Lewis & Clark Expedition.

Portland doesn't want you to know about the CWC Monument because Portland doesn't really want you to like it at this point. Portland thinks you're smug.

PORTLAND: Yeah, fuck you.
LEO: Whoah whoah there tough guy! Watch what you're saying to the Leo fanbase there Portland.
PORTLAND: Fuck you too bub, what have you done for me lately? I am a bloody state capital! I have been compared favorably to such world renowned cities as:


Houston!

and:


Nashville!

LEO: Oh please, this is getting pathetic.

LOL ADMIN: STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU! I have made it clear that I love you both, so you are just going to have to find a way to get along.

LEO: Like what do you suggest?
PORTLAND: I don't know, it's your site Mr Movie Star.

LOL ADMIN: That's it!